series: "BATTLE" -part 8

#BATTLE_8
After a whole month of daily calls to Kenny
with no response, I finally gave up. I knew my
marriage was over. I had gone through the
full cycle from tears to pain in my heart to
anger to being just blank. I have finally
resigned myself to fate. Even the strength to
pray had left me. I have tried interpreting
Kenny's silence in different ways but my
conclusion was that he just didn't love me
enough to fight for us. I sent him different
text messages and not once did he humour
me and respond. I just could not understand
why a man will be silent after hearing his wife
was raped.
As always my mum walked into my bedroom
that Friday afternoon once again to ask what
happened between my husband and I. She
had soon figured out something was wrong
but I always refused to tell her.
''Lola, you know what? Your father and I have
tried. You have stayed in our house for over a
month and we have been caring. You can't
keep saying there is nothing wrong when I
have been married for thirty five years and I
know more than you''
''Mum, please I don't have the strength to
argue''.
''Okay then, your father and I have decided
you can't live here anymore. We will not
harbour a married woman in our home.
Since you and your husband don't respect us
enough to seek for advice. Please go back to
him or wherever you want but you cannot
stay under my roof''.
Still shocked at what she was saying, ''Mum?''
''Daughter!!! Yes?''
I finally relented. I didn't even have a plan B.''
Mum, Kenny and I have serious problems.
Our marriage is not even up to a year and we
don't even know how to move forward''.
''Okay tell me everything''.
So I sat for over an hour and told my mum
every single detail from my wedding night to
the day I left Kenny's house. Surprisingly, my
mum did not interrupt or blow up at me. I
expected her to start screaming but her
calmness amazed me.
''Heeeeeeee Omolola, O ti ba ye je ( you have
spoilt the world)'' She said in Yoruba
language when I was finally done.
''Mummy haba, what did I do wrong? How
can Kenny just abandon me here? His love is
fleeting mum, it can't even stand the test of
time''. I said with deep anger and
disappointment.
''hmmmmm, first of all, you are changing
your church. The kind of pastor's wife that
will give you such advise is not who you
should be listening to. Why didn't you call
me? Why did you go to an outsider?''
''Mum, you are the one that said I should
keep our matters private''.
''Not when it is crumbling my dear, we all
need help once in a while''.
''Okay mum, what do we do now? Do you
think there is any chance for Kenny and I''.
''Of course, your father and I have had
greater battles that we have overcome.
Marriage is filled with battles, we fight, win,
conquer and fight another day. We never give
up. It only ends the day you stop fighting for
it. Lola, you keep fighting till you conquer.
There is no end. You made some terrible
decisions and took some wrong steps''.
''Mum, what about Kenny? He took a lot of
wrong steps too''.
''Yes, I will face Kenny but I need to talk to
you first. I told you not to kill yourself over
not having a child yet. It will come. You
shouldn't have fasted and deprived your
husband without his full consent. Moreso,
you should have given him his marital rights
between 6pm when you break your fast and
midnight when the next day starts. You
shouldn't have run from your home without
his consent and come hide here. To tell you
the truth, it will take God for Kenny to be able
to sleep with you again. Both of you, your
actions have spoilt a lot of things. This matter
should not have generated to this level. First
thing tomorrow morning, I am going back to
Abuja with you, we are going to see your
husband''
True to her word, by 11 am on Saturday,
which was the next day, we had arrived my
house. As soon as I saw Kenny's car parked in
the compound, my heart started beating fast.
I wished he was not home even though mum
had called earlier and told him she was
coming to see him. He opened the door as
soon as we were approaching and I assumed
he had seen us through the window and
prostrated, greeting my mum in yoruba
language. Kenny totally ignored me and my
mum just smiled at us. I left them in the
sitting room and went into the room.
Everything was just as I left it and my
investigation as to whether somebody else
had been living with him came up empty. I
heard my mum call me from the living room
and I quickly dropped my bag and went back
to join them.
''Mummy, Lola does not want to be married.
In less than a year of marriage she has shown
blatant disregard and disrespect both for me
and this home and I am sick of it. Does she
think if it was another man, he won't have
started womanizing by now? I stayed faithful
even when she refused to be faithful to our
marriage vows''. Kenny said with so much
anger.
''Please don't threaten us with tales of
unfaithfulness. So you want an award
because you didn't cheat? I said.
''Keep your mouth shut Lola, just shut up''
my mum shouted while Kenny just shook his
head. I instantly felt remorseful.
I listened as my mum and Kenny started
talking. I truly listened to his hurts and pains
as he opened up to my mum and for the first
time I understood the gravity of where we
were. By the time they started talking about
the rape incident, Kenny shed tears. He just
kept quiet while tears fell from his eyes and I
was broken for both of us.
''Mummy, I warned Lola, I warned her not to
go. I haven't been able to get that image out
of my head ever since Daddy told me. Where
do we start from? She refused to sleep with
me all in the name of prayers and freely gave
it to a thief?''
''Kenny, don't say she freely gave it. We all
still feel the pains of that night most
especially your wife. The pain she is still in as
a result of that incident is great. She needs a
lot of time to heal''. My mum said.
''I warned her, I warned her mummy'' Kenny
insisted.
My mum began to talk to Kenny about us
communicating better, about understanding
each other and being quick to forgive. She
spoke and fear gripped my heart as I looked
at Kenny's face.
After so much advise from mum, Kenny
began to calm down.
''Both of you need to pray, be patient and
communicate'' mum said again.
''Mummy, truth be told, I am not sure if this
marriage still exists. I don't even know where
to start with Lola'' Kenny said.
''You both start with forgiving each other and
then take it one step at a time. You start with
conversations, heart to heart ones, share
your pains and fears and with time the
intimacy will come and with time you will
heal''.
''Okay mummy, thank you ma.'' Kenny said.
About an hour later, mum left our home in a
cab, headed to the airport for her flight back
home. She refused to stay the night despite
all our pleas. As soon as she left, I turned to
Kenny to apologize.
''Baby, I am sorry''.I said to Kenny as he went
back to sit on the sofa and I sat beside him.
He turned to me and said ''I pray to God to
give me the enabling spirit to take that bad
rape incident off my mind, Omololami, I am
sorry too, I am sorry I wasn't with you during
this painful period. Truth is, I don't even
know if we can fix this, but first and
foremost, we are both going to change our
place of worship. We shall pray fervently for
God to lead us through this hard time''.
''We will babe'', I said with renewed
confidence, ''we will, one day at a time''. To
God be the glory, that's THE END. What
lessons have you learnt so far?